You took my heart
by LogicBox
Summary: "When I was with him, suddenly I wasn't this broken person anymore. I was just me. I was whole again. I was just a person – like everyone else." After successfully taking down the BO, Shinichi's ready to face his feelings and tell a certain Phantom Thief about who, exactly, Conan was. Yet, because of certain events, it ends up completely different. KaiShin/ShinKai. Angst. Yaoi.
1. Shattered

Sooo, this is a little something that wouldn't leave me. So I've decided to get rid of it from my head.

This can be considered a smudge AU? Kaito doesn't know who Conan is and Shinichi doesn't know how Kaito looks. So.

English is obviously not my first language, so pardon any and all mistakes you spot.

"abc" - talking

'abc' - thinking

Without further ado, please enjoy and maybe I will decide to continue with writing more. For now I'm thinking of leaving it as a one-shot.

* * *

In hindsight, he thought as the balls of his feet left the comforting safety of the roof, Shinichi knew the plan would, _somehow,_ fail. Gin's not the type of your off-the-mill criminal whose sole purpose is to kill aimlessly and needlessly. Well, there's that, too, but also the brains of being one of the top officers of a nation- _world?_ \- wide criminal syndicate.

Something's bound to go wrong.

Then again, Shinichi mused trying very hard to keep his balance for those few more, precious seconds, when has anything in his live, regarding private matters, gone _according_ to plan?

One last chance to find out.

One last _leap of faith_.

And so, he leans back and lets the wind envelop him in its embrace.

But let's get back to the beginning of things.

* * *

It's three years later when "The Fall", as press dubbed the take down of a criminal syndicate, happens. Shinichi knows, nothing of what transpired would be possible to accomplish without every person present there that night.

The FBI, led by Akai Shuichi, safe distance away with a sniper rifle and a little boy by his side throwing orders left and right.

The secret police with, commonly known as Amuro, Zero taking the charge.

And of course last, but not the least, the enigma known as Magician under the Moonlight, The Last Wizard of the Century, Kaitou KID.

If he were to be honest with himself, the cooperation between the trickster and both ex-members of the Black Organization, Bourbon and Vermouth, was a key part of the whole operation.

However, after everything was finished and done with, the magician vanished without a word, thus it's why Shinichi, two months later, was currently running -_ jumping?_ \- over the staircase leading to the roof of the hotel.

Yep, it's another KID heist.

Secretly, Shinichi's happy for two reasons. Well, three.

Firstly, it's because he can now officially thank the magician for all the help. Not just with the take down. With every time the little 'Conan' needed one and the thief happily obliged.

Secondly, because it means that the bullet wound sustained during the memorable night wasn't as serious as it looked.

And thirdly, well…

During his recuperation time after taking the antidote, courtesy of one Japanese FBI agent who figured out his real identity along the way, Shinichi had a lot of time to think.

Like, _a lot._

And during his musings of how to breach the subject of his absence with Ran, what to do to keep the Detective Boys in his life, how to worm his way back into the good graces of the Police Department, there was always one constant thought nagging at the back of his mind.

KID.

Now, the Heisei Holmes knows that the emotional qualities are antagonistic to clear reasoning, but he couldn't hep it.

He missed the thief.

Missed their conversations, be it planning a raid on the organization or simple, meaningless exchange of opinions on the most mundane of topics.

Now that everything's over and he's back in his body, Shinichi let himself sulk quietly in his mind. For there's no reason for him to pursue the thief anymore.

It's Conan that's the "KID killer", not him.

What reason could possibly a homicide detective have, to drop by a heist that's perfectly safe for all, save for the star himself?

And even that's a valid argument, because the branch of the organization pursuing Pandora was also caught that night.

And yet…

When the heist notice popped on the screen of his TV one morning, a week ago, Shinichi could swear he never deciphered something quicker in his entire life.

* * *

Thus brings us back to the present, as the young detective stumbles the last few steps and crashes into the door, forcing them to open.

Immediately, the cold wind brushes his cheeks and Shinichi needs to momentarily squeeze his eyes shut to adjust to the slight intrusion.

"Hm?" A voice in front of him murmurs, and it's owner turns around, regarding the newcomer curiously,

"You're a new face around here," the thief says in a louder voice and Shinichi needs to take a step back at the suddenly close proximity with the other. Who's holding a blooming white rose in his hand.

"Welcome to the party. It's a pleasure to make acquaintance with the Great Detective of the East," Kaitou KID says with that ever insufferable, _attractive?_, smirk on his face.

Stupefied, said detective wordlessly takes the professed flower and puts it to his nose, inhaling the calming and soothing aroma, before looking at his… _friend_?

Well, it's a one way friendship, for now, since the other doesn't know who he is.

'_Oh, so it's a young man this time,'_ Shinichi thinks, finally looking at the thief's face.

During his time as Conan he learned that Kaitou KID was anything, if not thorough. Which is why, every heist, he had a new face as his disguise, accompanied of course by a matching voice to it. Which, frankly, infuriated the detective to no end, because of the near impossibility to at least get a _hint_ to the magician's true identity.

"Aren't you a gentleman," The Heisei Holmes scoffs, yet the smile is evident both in his voice and on his face.

KID's grin is, simply put, shit eating as he bows, the hat low over his eyes.

"I'm nothing if not an accommodating host,"

"Clearly," the detective answers, taking a slow step forward, so as not to alarm the thief.

Who's currently watching him curiously from under the bridge of his hat.

"Is Tantei-kun faring well, Meitantei?"

That question stops his next step mid-way, wide eyes filled with slight panic looking to the magician.

"How-?"

"You are his cousin, are you not?" He inquires softly, and Shinichi can swear he hears an undertone of fondness there, "I imagine you're aware of his whereabouts as well as our… cooperation, at few instances,"

'_Ah, damn it,'_ The detective thinks, letting out a slow sigh, '_It's not exactly how I wanted him to find out, but beggars can't be choosers, I suppose,'_

"Meitantei?"

"KID, listen, the truth is I'm Co-"

And just like that, because Shinichi's life can never be _easy_, there's a sound of a gun being fired, followed by a scream down below them.

Alarmed, both of them look at each other for a split second and, somehow, just knowing what to do, the thief jumps down over the railing while Shinichi turns to the door, his destination also downward, ignoring the confused questions and baffled expressions of the task force's faces as he sprints by them.

By the time he makes it to the street, there's an utter chaos as people try to flee in all directions in panic.

Luckily, locating the magician is an easy task, bless the white outfit, so Shinichi makes his way there slowly surveying the area.

'_Why would the sniper,' _for it's most certainly not a coincidence at this point that there's a shooting occurring at a heist, '_try to shoot an innocent civilian, instead of aiming for KID? It doesn't add up. If it's the remnants of the organization they should go for either of us. Unless…'_

Dread pooled in the pit of Shinichi's stomach, his eyes sharply scanning the windows and roofs of the nearby buildings.

'_Unless…'_

His gaze catches the split second light being reflected by the moving window and before he's aware of what he's doing, his body moves, running at full speed towards the striking white just as another shot rings out.

'_Unless they know his real identity and are trying to lure him out by targeting someone close to him,'_

Kaito is in a, to put lightly, state of morbid panic as he descends down onto the street, already looking for that blob of wild, brown hair.

'_Aoko, please be safe,'_

That sole thought pushes him forward, into the panicking crowd, and it says something about the state of fear they must all feel if none of them stops for even a second to take notice of him.

"-to!"

"Kaito!"

He hears a voice to his right, just at the edge of the slowly thinning out crowd and said teen gives a long exhale of relief, slowly making his way over to his friend, oblivious to everything around him at the moment.

And just as he's about to sweep down and rescue the princess, there's a sudden weight pushing his side and Kaito stumbles sideways, ignoring the splash of something on his cheek.

"KID! Are you alright?" Shinichi's desperate voice calls out to him, wide, unfocused eyes gazing at him in worry.

'_Why would you worry about me, Meitantei? You don't even know me,'_ Just as Kaito's about to voice his thought out loud there's another scream, right next to them.

Both of them turn to look at the one who screams, before following their gazes to the finger pointing down.

There's a girl lying flat on her back, with blood slowly seeping through and soaking her baby blue shirt.

A girl with wild, brown hair.

"Aoko!" Kaito calls out without thinking, kneeling and gathering her in his embrace, gently shaking her, "Open your eyes! Aoko!"

"You shouldn't... move her so... much," Shinichi wheezes, crouching next to them whilst holding his right arm, "It might… aggravate her wound more…"

Kaito sharply turns his head to the detective, eyes ablaze with fury.

"You… Why?! Why did you do it?!" He roars angrily, startling the Heisei Holmes.

"Why… I just…" Shinichi tries to answer, but the pain as well as the sudden outburst leave him speechless. Unconsciously he grips the small package inside his jacket, before withdrawing his hand.

"If you didn't push me out of the way Aoko wouldn't get shot! She would be fine!" The magician continues, sadistically pleased at the pain he sees in those azure orbs. Good, he wants to inflict even more of it because the idiot beside him deserves it.

"If I didn't push you away you'd be dead!" Shinichi snaps back, letting the sudden spike of anger and adrenaline fueling his veins get the better of him.

"So what?! It's not up to you to decide who lives and who dies," Kaito whispers, before suddenly bursting into a maniac laugh, "I guess it's true what they say. You are a death magnet, detective, leaving nothing but piles upon piles of corpses in your wake,"

Shinichi's eyes widen, the words cutting straight through his very soul. Anyone, he would let anyone say those words, but not _him_.

Not _KID_.

Not the one person who he thought…

Who he…

And as if to jab the last nail straight into Shinichi's figurative coffin, Kaito says loudly, looking straight at him,

"I despise you. I _hate_ you. Never. NEVER come near me again, you _freak_,"

Shinichi can swear he hears the sound of something shattering.

'_Ah,'_ he thinks numbly as his feet carry him away from the pair, ignorant of the small package that fell from his jacket in the motion,

'_That must be my heart,'_

Allowing himself one moment of weakness, the young detective stops a few feet away from Kaito and, without turning around, murmurs in an ice cold voice, first tears streaming down his pale, sweaty face,

"I've always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof,"

* * *

AN:

Soooooooo how was it? I hope at least itsy bitsy feelsy...? And yep, the last line is a quote from BBC Sherlock that was just asking to be used ^.^


	2. Quiet Aftermath

"abc" - speech

'abc' - thoughts

English is not my first language, but still, please enjoy.

* * *

Fear and fury, carefully wrapped in a blanket of confusion. Those were the three primary feelings currently wrecking quite a bit of storm in one Kuroba Kaito's mind.

Fear for Aoko, who's currently undergoing a surgery just behind the closed door the teen was looking at with a disdainful expression. His loud and bubbling, albeit slightly aggressive - well, when he says _slightly_… - childhood friend and hospitals should never, _ever,_ be spoken in one sentence.

Unless she's giving birth to a baby. But that's another kind of _horrible_ thoughts, because it involves Hakuba and Kaito's not ready to add those to the already existing emotional mix.

Speaking of detectives…

His fury spiked at the mere thought of the profession, courtesy to the one who's the reason for his friend's current predicament.

Kudou Shinichi.

Kaito's aware of who he is, thanks to Tantei-kun mentioning him a few times, as well as few instances that random people on the street - be it teenagers, kids and even police officers - mistook him for the other.

'_And with reason. We really look _too damn alike_ for two complete strangers'_, Kaito mused, feeling even slightly more pissed off - this time at himself for even thinking it in the first place.

Weren't he supposed to be furious at Kudou for putting Aoko in harm's way?

And yet…

When he saw the young detective up there on the rooftop, for a split second he couldn't help, but think that it's his favorite little critique.

A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.

Which is why, to the magician, the two of them were the biggest pair of fools around.

And here's where his train of thoughts halted, snuggling into the blanket of confusion.

Because he tried to tell him something, hadn't he? Kudou was just about to say something, and by the expression on his face and the look in those azure eyes - yes, Kaito's _that_ observant, it goes with the_ job_ \- it seemed important.

'_If not for the sudden shooting,' _the teen mused, watching Inspector Nakamori slowly walking down the corridor to him, '_I have a feeling I'd be up for a big surprise tonight,'_

"When they brought her in, they said it's just a flesh wound, that it luckily just scraped her skin, nothing more. But because she lost a lot of blood they need to make sure that she's…" The man said, sitting in the empty chair, next to the teen who only nodded wordlessly, and took the cup, taking a careful sip of the hot beverage.

Hot chocolate.

The Nakamori's really knew him well, eh?

"You know, Kaito-kun, it's not your fault?" The Inspector looked carefully to the teen as he said it, trying to gauge the other's reaction. He knew Kaito's bad with those close to him hurt in any kind of way.

'_I damn well know that. If not for _him_, Aoko would be fine and I-'_ His thoughts ceased, replaced by an image of Kudo with wide eyes, filled to the brim with pain and anger.

'"_You'd be dead!"'_

"Kaito-kun, don't blame yourself. You know Aoko wouldn't want you to, either," Nakamori murmured slowly, taking the teen's silence the wrong way.

"Huh? No, I'm-" Baffled, the magician turned to the man, only now noticing the box wrapped in a red ribbon and blue paper the other's holding.

"What's that? A gift for Aoko?" He asked, pointing at the object.

"Ah, no. We found it near the spot where you both were. It's for KID," As if to prove it, he showed the other side of it, where written in elegant letters were the words _'To the Last Wizard of the Century'._

Huh. Not many people referred to him by that title. Most just used simply KID or The Gentleman Thief.

"Can I see it for a second?" The teen turned, already reaching for it - something about those colors was calling out to him - when a grip on his wrist stopped him.

"No. It's evidence and maybe, if we're lucky, there are KID's fingerprints on i - You've got blood on your cheek! Are you hurt?"

Blinking, Kaito raised a hand to his face, and surely, it came away with his fingers tainted slightly red, the liquid already half-dried.

"No, I'm not. It's not mine…"

_'Not mine? Then whose? Aoko was wounded near her stomach, so the blood couldn't possibly transfer right on my face. Then when…?'_

Now that he thought about it in a slightly calmer manner, letting the adrenaline drain from him, Kaito remembered that just before, when he got pushed by Kudou, there was something wet hitting him square on the cheek, but… it couldn't be, could it?

_'So basically, I let loose my fury on the complete stranger who not only saved my life, but also literally took the bullet for me and…'_

The cup dropped from his hand at, yet another, sudden realization, the startled sound of the man beside him falling on deaf ears.

_'And knowing how great of a detective he is, he probably calculated the best way to move his arm so as to not fatally wound any other people nearby,'_

"Oh god," Kaito groaned, hands gripping his hair as he bent forward, hiding his crumpled expression between his knees.

_'I'm pathetic,'_

* * *

"I'm back," Shinichi said as he slowly - and wobbly - made his way inside the small, white house.

During on of his many conversations with a certain thief, they breached the subject of what they were going to do after everything is over and done with, Organization wise.

With no better goal in mind, Shinichi blurted out that he always wanted a small house somewhere quiet, preferably on the outskirts of town, with a large room for a library and a white fence in front of the house. With a lot of sunlight, because god knows that the Kudou manor's been gloom and dark enough to last him a lifetime.

Thus when everything concluded, he decided - what the heck - and bought one, with the help of his parents, of course.

Three bedrooms, - well, he planned two, but since a certain someone had enough on living off canned, unhealthy food and decided to stick with him he had to reconsider his options - a huge study/library, and a bit of space downstairs for a lab.

Thus it left them with a room each, and one for occasional guests - after all, Shinichi told a limited number of people where he's living now - mostly Vermouth who liked to drop by whenever she was in Japan.

"Welcome back," A small, girlish voice answered from somewhere within, before a few moments later Haibara Ai emerged from the kitchen with a cup of hot coffee.

"You've seen better days," She remarked after a quick scan of his housemate. Bruised knees and a pulled leg muscle, but the most noticeable one…

"Think you can patch me a bit, Haibara?" Shinichi asked leaning a bit against the wall, his vision going slightly vertigo.

With a quiet sigh, the ten year old put the mug on the nearest flat surface and nudged her head to follow downstairs.

And follow he did, taking twice as long as her to get to the bottom, however.

"Honestly, Kudou-kun, why is it that every time we take our eyes off you, you end up getting injured?" Haibara huffed, pulling out the first aid kit.

"They were trying to shoot KID, and I… my body just moved on its own," Shinichi explained lamely, slowly taking off his jacket and shirt.

"Of course you'd be the one to protect him. Honestly, I preferred you when you thought you were in love with Mouri-san," As if to accentuate her annoyance with the boy she poured the disinfect directly onto his skin, instead of on the gauze.

"_Ouch!_ Geez, be a little more delicate, why don't you?" Shinichi hissed at the burning just below his elbow.

"I don't see how a bit of disinfect can hurt more than a bullet straight through your arm. You're lucky it didn't break any bones, though I suggest you do a scan of it, just to be sure,"

"Yes, mother, I will go to the hospital tomorro- _ow!_" He winced again when Haibara none too gently pushed a needle through his skin.

"Hm? You were _saying_ something?" Her eyes glinted with meaning, a needle dangerously close to the skin.

"N-No, nothing," Shinichi stuttered. For someone so small, the scientist could be quite intimidating when necessary.

"So, anyway. Did you tell him? About Conan?" She tried to lift the mood, only to end up with a stool full of a gloomy young detective.

"But you, at least, gave him the present, no?" She asked, now exasperated, and watched with horror how the aura got even more solemn than a second before.

"Kudou-kun…"

"I tried, but just as I started, the shooting occurred. And then…" Shinichi's eyes widened, the remembered words cutting through him anew, forcing a lump to form in his throat.

"And then…?" Haibara inquired softly, laying a reassuring hand on the other's knee. She never saw Kudou looking this… this… _broken_.

"I pushed him out of the way of the bullet, but it hit someone. A girl, and she's close to him," He paused and took a shaky breath, before looking at the smaller girl, ignorant of a few, loose tears streaming down his cheeks, "He told me he hates me. Despises me. That he never wants to see a_ freak_ like me near him ever again,"

Ai closed her eyes, fully aware of what that must've done to the young man. Frankly, anyone who'd hear something like this straight from the lips of the person they - at the very least - harbor a crush on, would be simply devastating.

"They say that genius is an infinite capacity for taking pains," she said suddenly with a small smile, "It's a very bad definition, but it does apply to detective work,"

Shinichi blinked, slightly startled at the familiar quote, before answering with one of his own, accompanied by a wry grimace of a smile.

"But love is an emotional thing, and whatever is emotional is opposed to that true cold reason which I place above all things,"

"Go take a lukewarm shower. In the meantime I'll brew us a pot of coffee and then we will watch Detective Samonji and forget about it all,"

"Have I told you how I'm glad you're here with me, Haibara?" Shinichi smiled weakly at the sudden rush of pink on the smaller cheeks.

And yet, when the night - or rather - early morning came, he knew he would not get a wink of sleep.

The wretched words kept on replaying in his mind as he laid curled on top of the covers of his bed, ears covered and eyes wide, yet unseeing.


	3. IMPORTANT NOTICE

AN: For some bizarre reason I can't upload the docs to FF. So this is a little note to inform you that I also posted this story (currently 9 chapters long) on AO3 under the same name. I'm LogicBox there, so if you're interested in knowing what happens next, feel free to check it out :)


End file.
